those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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