never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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