he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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