Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
