I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
