Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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