Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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