Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
