dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
