new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
