so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
