who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
