I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I smell like Dick and happiness
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
