so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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