what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
