I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
