THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
There's always time for handjobs
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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