Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
