I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I need to align my fucking chakras
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
