wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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