That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize