you have to choose: penises or morals?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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