By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
