I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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