I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
