Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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