The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize