i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize