I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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