All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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