a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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