Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
