just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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