so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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