He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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