i was born a porn star she said
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
