Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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