The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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