Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
