he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize