I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
