I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
