So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
