Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize