I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Randomize