Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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