spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
