Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
