What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
