ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
