just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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