He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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