I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
