Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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