She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
