I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
