What a fucking waste of an outfit
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Dick very happy bro
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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