i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
